* s t a r d u s t a g a i n s t a p a l e s k y *

A falling star is a phenomenon to an adult and magic- a miracle- to a child. Who's right? Things are what you define them. So who am I? I guess it's up to you...

1.12.2005

*Early To Bed, Early To.. have nightmares that wake you up scared to death at almost exactly midnight*

I went to bed entiredly too early for me.. like nine o'clock. I was so tired and haven't been feeling well. I had a nightmare that was really really long and so deep that I wasn't aware that I was dreaming and could wake up, like I usually do (kind of a skill I acquired because of how many nightmares I used to have). I haven't had one in a long time.

I really wish Michael was here to wake up and tell how scared I am and get a hug. Tho I can't imagine having any bad dreams while he's here.

The dream was like.. it was really really long but I only remember a part of it. I was driving.. I stopped to get dinner at this restaurant and they had really really slow service at the takeour counter and the people were really kind of creepy.. asking me weird questions about how I liked the place, etc. Then I pulled up to this crusted old creepy mansion house that I was supposed to be watching for the weekend, I guess. There was one, little dog there, a chuiaia (SP??) and it was nice at first. But then everything got creepy, the house started making scary noises and I was sure there were people in the house, and the dog went crazyand I actually killed it because it was biting me so hard I was scared it would kill me. I called my dad and he was kind of annoyed that I needed to come be picked up.. i should be old enough to handle things like that.. but poppop and mom & dad came over and got me. There was a lot LOT more to it than that but.. yeah. Looks like I'm still a scaredy cat.

The sad thing about me still not being old enough to handle that stuff is that when I woke up not only was I scared of my own house but I considered running into my parents room. In fact, if my dad had been downstairs, I probaly would've woken my mom and slept with her. I guess this nightmare thing is the curse of being an only child. my aunt had them like crazy.. really scary vivid ones.. so bad that she has to wear this thing at night now to keep hher from stopping breathing when things happen in her dreams. But she had my mom... my mom says she ran into my moms bed at least once a week, mostly more.. scared to death and shaking.

I'm a lot like my aunt, mentally. So much that it scares me.

Anyway I should go back to sleep. I only came down to see if mike was online because i needed to talk to someone and now I have and I think I'll be okay to go lie down again.. maybe I'll just go lay in mikes bed anyway.

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