* s t a r d u s t a g a i n s t a p a l e s k y *

A falling star is a phenomenon to an adult and magic- a miracle- to a child. Who's right? Things are what you define them. So who am I? I guess it's up to you...

1.23.2005

*Too Early To actually Think*

He never worried. Not even once in dozens. Not even for a second. I mean, maybe the first time, but barely. It was like I didn't even matter. And he just brushed it off. "forget it," he said. "impossible," he said. Sure... I guess it was. I guess it is. But what all does that matter now? I still worry. But now I'm worried that I worry him. I'm not ready to do that.

I don't understand why we can sit there and watch a movie.. hours and hours after all our sleeping instincts have come and gone and come and gone again, and yet stay wide awake, jumping up at the end to throw soda cans out the window or pizza or stop signs that we should've put in our hair. Its funny. Then we can sit here, silently typing away at wherever and whoever.. and say nothing to each other once again, yet entertain ourselves for hours when it is in fact 6:58 AM and we started watching movies at 9 PM yesterday. I mean, some of the movies were good, especially Murder by Numbers which, in fact, I would not have stayed awake for if I didn't feel so crappy and worried and the movie wasn't so damn interesting. It's so comfy there in his arms, I just want to melt.

I want the snow to melt too. It's pretty and nice and all.. and I love the way it twinkles and sparkles in the moonlight but it's just too damn cold and I don't want to be cold anymore. I miss 100 degree Puerto Rico and who could blame me? It's paradise. I would imagine God doesn't throw out his angels for that damn reason.. hell really would be hell in comparison.

Well I'm actually sounding like a person that thinks which I don't enjoy so I'm leaving. Plus Mike has his hand on my leg and I should probably talk to him instead of sitting here staring at my fingers like I did before I could type without looking. It's almost like I'm not here... but I guess I have to deal with it anyway.

Everything seems worse in a dream. Strike that.. everything feels worse in a dream-like reality.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home